Myths About Teen Suicide
Suicide is not openly talked about in our society. This means that stigma, historical myths, and misunderstandings about suicide stand in the way of those suffering from getting the help they need from peers, family, teachers, coaches, and neighbors. Here are four common myths and facts about suicide. We can create safer spaces for our teens by dispelling myths and fostering communication.
MYTH #1: Talking About Suicide Will Make Someone Act
Fact: Talking is a way for a person thinking about suicide to process what’s on their mind. They seek to be understood and validated, both verbally and nonverbally. You could be a point of connection and reduce their feelings of isolation, hopelessness, and pain.
Examples of nonjudgmental phrases include, “I can tell that you are burdened and I’m so sorry you’re hurting,” “You don’t have to feel/think about suicide alone,” and “While I may not understand, I want to try.”
Ask directly and sensitively, “Are you thinking about suicide?” “Are you thinking about not living anymore?” and “How have you thought about doing it?”
Avoid “you should feel” and “you shouldn’t feel.” Parents, using phrases like these may elicit guilt or shame for not doing something else “right” and disappointing you. If you’re nervous about saying the “right” words or being unhelpful, simply convey, “I’m listening without judgment,” and sit in silence. Your presence is enough.
MYTH #2: Talking About Suicide is a Way to Get Attention
Anyone at any age talking about suicide should be taken seriously. It is a sign that a person is suffering and desires help. Minimizing their feelings and dismissing their behavior as “attention-seeking” can be hurtful. Respond with concern - i.e., “I care deeply about your life” - and empathy - i.e., “I can imagine how much you’re hurting.” Some people who attempt or complete suicide may not mention their thoughts and feelings to anyone at all. So, parents, take it seriously every time and provide support by linking them with the suicide hotline (988) and other professionals who can help.
MYTH #3: Only Certain Types of People Are At Risk of Suicide
Suicide is complex and can affect anyone regardless of race, sex, gender, religious beliefs, sexual orientation, ability, socio-economic status, linguistic diversity, military/veteran status, and other demographic factors. While some groups of people are more likely to die by suicide when compared with others, this is because some groups of people experience higher rates of risk factors for suicide, such as social oppression, violence, rejection, discrimination, and stigma.
MYTH #4: Suicide Is an Impulsive and Spur-of-the-Moment Act Without Warning
Suicide is more often the end of prolonged emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical pain. Teens and emerging adults who complete suicide have usually thought about it multiple times over for an extended period before attempting. Almost always, warning signs are evident before an attempt, though a person other than the suicidal person can't see the complete picture.
Parents, this is why maintaining open communication with your teen, knowing common signs, and educating yourself about risk factors - in addition to depression, mental illness, and demographic factors - are important. Encourage and seek professional assistance from a counselor, social worker, or psychologist. (See Episode 007 Therapy 101 This Side Up for an explanation of different therapy professionals and how to get started.) When possible, encourage your teen to connect with other trusted friends and adults and to engage in things they enjoy to help manage their stress. Finally, remember that your presence, attention, and openness promote mental well-being and prevent suicide.
Listen to Episode 022: Suicidal Ideation: Thinking About Suicide, in which Dr. Vince Culotta, Dr. Lisa Rice, and Dr. Margaux Brown discuss how to identify thoughts of suicide, along with how and why moms should take steps to get their daughter help.
