Be Aware of Sensory Sensitivity
One of the issues that many people on the autism spectrum experience is sensory sensitivity. There is no single way this is expressed - some kids experience it as difficulties with sounds, some with visual stimuli, and some with textures like foods or clothing. We all have some degree of sensory sensitivity–some of us are more sensitive to fluorescent lighting for example.As moms we need to be aware of sensory sensitivities (which all kids can have). Here are three examples of girls with sensory sensitivities:
Mia – Sound Sensitivity (Hypersensitive to Noise)
Mia is a bright, creative 12-year-old who loves drawing. But at school, she often gets overwhelmed during lunchtime in the cafeteria. The clatter of trays, multiple conversations, and sudden loud noises make her anxious and distracted. She sometimes covers her ears or asks to eat in a quieter room. Her teachers initially thought she was shy or avoiding social time, but it’s really about managing the overwhelming noise.
Zoe – Touch Sensitivity (Hypersensitive to Clothing Textures)
Zoe is 11 and excels in reading, but every morning is a battle to get dressed. She refuses to wear jeans because the seams feel "scratchy and stiff." Tags in shirts are unbearable, and she often insists on wearing the same few soft, tagless outfits. At school, she avoids group hugs and sitting too close to others because unexpected touch makes her uncomfortable. Classmates sometimes misunderstand and think she’s being rude or distant.
Ayesha – Sensory Seeking (Hyposensitive to Movement and Touch)
Ayesha is 13 and always in motion. She loves gym class and often spins in circles or jumps up and down while waiting in line. Her teachers describe her as "fidgety," and she frequently touches walls, desks, or her classmates’ hair without meaning to bother anyone. She craves physical input and needs frequent movement breaks to stay focused in class. Without them, she gets frustrated or disruptive.
What is Sensory Sensitivity?
Sensory sensitivity refers to an increased or decreased responsiveness to sensory input, like sound, light, touch, taste, smell, or movement. It’s a form of sensory processing difference, meaning the brain interprets sensory information in a way that's different from what's typical.
There are two main types:
Hypersensitivity (over-responsiveness) – An intense reaction to sensory input.
Examples:
Loud noises might feel painful.
Bright lights could be overwhelming.
Certain clothing textures might be intolerable.
Hyposensitivity (under-responsiveness) – A reduced or muted reaction to sensory input.
Examples:
Not noticing pain or temperature extremes.
Seeking out strong sensations like spinning or crashing.
Needing deep pressure or tight hugs to feel calm.
What To Do More:
Be aware that when your daughter, especially when younger, is behaving differently, it could be sensitivity to the physical environment. Ask about sounds, lighting, and textures.
Validate the sensitivity and acknowledge the discomfort, recognizing that you want to support your daughter as she navigates different environments. Sometimes, parents with young children use headphones to block out noise, take frequent breaks from stimulating environments, or even use weighted vests or technology to distract their kids.
While letting your daughter avoid the sensory difficulty, do set up small exposures to the difficult stimulus, but do not force her to engage. In other words, helping all kids tolerate difficult things is a good process, as long as you have a strong relationship, give your daughter a release from the stimulus, and don’t overfocus on helping her deal with the sensitivity.
Consider contacting an occupational therapist (OT) who specializes in sensory integration. In my experience, appointments with the OT are often a favorite time for kids.
Advocate for your child’s needs by requesting breaks or alternative locations.
If hallway noise is an issue, discuss a plan to allow the student to leave class early and get a “head start” on transitioning. Or, if the lunch room is overwhelming, discuss alternate locations for lunch with a smaller group.
What To Do Less:
Avoid dismissing kids' discomfort with scratchy materials, noise or lighting- remember the old-fashioned “just toughen up” does not apply here.
Avoid forcing your daughter to wear what you want her to wear- acknowledge the difficulty of some materials for kids.
Shame or criticize the sensory difference, or let siblings/peers tease about this difference.
Take over advocating for your daughter. Instead, teach her to ask what she needs when the sensory input is overwhelming. “I learn best when…….
Listen to Episode 020: Hidden Social Struggles of Autistic Girls for a discussion of some of the other differences girls on the autism spectrum experience. In this episode, we focus on peer relationships.
